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"Oh, dear!"
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Go, Go, Golden Years! is the first half of the 5th issue of DuckTales. It is paired with A Series of Unfortunate Substitutions. It was edited by Joe Hughes and published by Greg Goldstein.


After a close call involving a tribe of headhunters, a mad scientist and a crew of pirates, Scrooge McDuck begins to believe that he's getting to old to continue his adventures. Can a experimental medical procedure cure him of his weakening body?


While in the jungle, Scrooge McDuck managed to find the Golden Calf of Latte, a treasure belonging to an unknown civilization. However, a mad scientist named Dr. Quackmire Quantum is chasing Scrooge, claiming that if he can't have the calf, no one can. While being chased, Scrooge comes across a tribe of Headhunters who attack him as well. As ate would have it, the headhunters spears miss him and instead pin Dr. Quackmire Quantum to a tree. As a bridge collapses, Scrooge falls into the river below. McDuck Luck kicks in and Scrooge lands on a passing by ship -- a pirate ship! Scrooge handily defeats the pirates by turning their own weapons against each other, sinking the ship as a McDuck ship passes by.

Now in the company of his family, Scrooge starts to complain about his age. Dewey shows Scrooge a video of an elderly scientist duck named Rip Van Wrinkle who claims he found a way to live for hundreds of years while retaining a limber body, but states he can't continue his research without proper funding. Scrooge decides to check out the scientist himself to see if he's legitimate. As it turns out, the scientist has indeed found a method to extends ones life, but at a cost, Scrooge's reaction and movement speed decreases tremendously. Donald and the boys try to rush Scrooge home while various townsfolk complain about how vain or lazy Scrooge appears to be. Now at home, Dewey accidentally knocks Louie into a pillar, knocking down and breaking the Golden Calf of Latte in half, revealing caffeine beans. The nephews get an idea to force Scrooge to drink lots of coffee in order to cure him of his slowness. The plan works and Scrooge is back on his feet and as limber as ever, if not more so.








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