Pessimist and the Dromedaries is a written story by Lupan Evezan, illustrated by Aristide Twain. It features Thymon, the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, and specifically the individual Cupids Acquaintanceship-982, Pessimist-242, Larrikin-1029, Dandy-432 and Ally-1243 (who make up the Blue Feather), as well as Darius and Lila of the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries, and anonymous members of Gang of the Green Gorilla, the Secret League of the Orange-Bearded Gnomes, the Horde of the Mad Elephants, the Collection of the Camouflaged Chameleons, the Cohort of the Clockmaking Capybara, the Society of the Scarlet Crabs, the Sect of the Silver-Shelled Snails, the Ennead of the Eigengrau Easter Eggs, the Trio of the Talking Turkeys, the Possé of the Azure-And-Emerald Panther, the Gaggle of the Golden Goats, the Syndicate of the Sleeping Salamanders, the Mob of the Maroon Magpie. Also making their debuts are Pessimist's sentient Fog Ship and the Pseudo-Pessimist. Bibliophile-962, the Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles, the Creator and Crab Leader Scarabus, the Legion of the Chartreuse Tortoise and its mouse leader, and Investigation-464 are mentioned but do not appear.
Description[edit | edit source]
While on a routine mission to Earth, Pessimist-242, the most cynical and shiftless member of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, is abducted by the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries, one of whose officers, Darius, is eager to advance his career by being the first Dromedary to document the Cupids in full. Taken to Research Laboratory 6, where the Dromedaries have imprisoned various individual members of secret societies like the Cupids and Dromedaries, Pessimist is forced to get over himself for once and aid in an ambitious escape plan!
References[edit | edit source]
- Darius is, at the start of the story, Head Assistant Researcher of the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries, while Lila is a young Junior Assistant Researcher. Darius hopes to be promoted to the rank of Junior Researcher.
- The Department of Assignments keeps assigning Pessimist-242 to Whetstone Park on “the Prime Earth”, a public square which happens to be full of copper statues, allowing the static Pessimist to blend in.
- Pessimist's Fog Ship exists as the sole surviving prototype of an ill-fated collaborative project between the Cupid Intelligence Institute's Department of Transportation and Department of Technological Advancement.
- It possesses a Positronic Brain just like a Clockwork Cherub; its brain and Pessimist's are linked, in a way which holds true even across the dimensional divide.
- The Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries were created by the “First Horde” as their archivists and bookkeepers, with the Horde giving them all their high-tech facilities. Once they no longer had the budget to maintain this department, they simply brainwashed the Dromedaries, who kept the buildings and later rediscovered their history.
- The Drove possess a scanner which is able to pinpoint Pessimist's home dimension thanks to “dimensional residue”, but Lila notes that they do not possess dimensional travel despite their intellectual awareness of the multiverse.
- Pessimist believes there are “a little over a thousand” Clockwork Cherubs in the Cupid Homeworld.
- Clockwork Cherubs were designed to interface seamlessly with any technological appliance from the 1960's or earlier.
- The Head Guard of Research Laboratory 6 believes that guarding the Laboratories 4, or "possibly" 2, would be much more hazardous than this job usually is.
Continuity[edit | edit source]
- The Interdimensional Tavern, then recently introduced in Cupid Fact File No. 124 — The Interdimensional Tavern (2019), is one of the locations where Pessimist's Fog Ship wishes it could be assigned instead of Whetstone Park.
- Pessimist-242 tells the Dromedaries about how Lord Thymon now works for the Department of Postal Services due to having been hit with a Love Arrow. This harkens back to the events of Lord Thymon and the Department of Problem-Solving (2019) and Whatever Happened to Lord Thymon? (2019).
Behind the scenes[edit | edit source]
This short story was released in June of 2019 on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website and later collected in The Quintessential Cupid. It was the fifth fully narrative short story released there and the third by the Cupids' own creator Evezan.